thoughts i gave away, written before i lose them. again.

"I'm alive. it's a plus. to all the negatives. i abuse drugs, because it's just another way of abusing myself. i don't have anyone who cares for me or loves me that would abuse me, so I'd stay physically healthy. i don't feel right, if things are alright. it's a co dependent's way of living without a dependent, heh. i know what I'm doing everyday even if i don't acknowledge it. i get people to desperately need me, and then i usually leave with no reason, feel awful, abuse drugs, and find someone else, i seem pretty good at that. what I'm not good at is when someone does that to me. it still bugs me."

"stuck holding my breath unable to say what i need, stuck attempting half-accomplished tasks that i cannot finish, stuck with emotional hurt but no tears, stuck longing for friendship when no one would share warmth, stuck being incomplete when i can't resolve this past, stuck on me because I'm stuck on you"