It's really depressing when I try to think about certain people in my past and I can't even remember their names. I'm trying to make a chronological list of everyone I've had a crush on or liked and subsequently had my feelings hurt. There sure are several names that I can't remember, but I can recall the person. I'm not sure what this says about myself, but I don't think it's good.

I liked a person a great deal and we talked about having children and getting married. Her parents found out about those plans and proceeded to send her to a psychiatrist and then off to a New York all girl's college. I never heard from her again.

I remember a girl I went to youth group with. Years later, after high school, I was hanging out with some friends doing drugs and she walked through the door. I was surprised, but she was probably more surprised at seeing straight a and perfect attendence me there. We hugged and hung out a few more times after the course of a summer. I never saw her again.

I played this online d&d type game for a few years and ended up game marrying someone I really liked. It was a few months before she would complete her training for the Navy. I saw her once again on shore leave.

I had a relationship with someone who had a boyfriend and a kid. I saw her once and then she didn't want to see me again. A few months later she did the same thing with someone else. It made me feel very bad.

There was no point to me writing this, like most of my entries it seems. I feel depressed and overly nostalgic about the things I wish had happened differently. I think I'll try to cry myself to sleep.