Another Trial.

Things at the psychiatrist went well. She wanted to put me on Parnate, but was pretty iffy about the idea, due to the problems that it would cause. Having to come off Effexor XR completely and be off of it for two weeks before I could start taking Parnate. Parnate is also a 3 times a day pill, and I'm bad at remembering the middle dose and that's kind of important with this medication. We opted to fully explore the stimulants and see if that would help improve the depression. It's mostly a shot in the dark. The studies of it as an augmentive agent for depression are spotty, and not sure. It could work or it might not work. So we are giving this a shot, I'll be up to 20mg of Adderall by the next time I see her. I hope I notice a difference with my mood, or at least with my daytime sleepiness problems. From there, who knows. There was talk of possibly increasing my lithium *sigh*, but it's an option and I know there are plenty of studies behind it. It does work, so maybe more of it will be a help. I just hate losing my brain to it and feeling stupid. Other ideas than that, well who knows. I might mention bringing up wellbutrin as an addition, but she seems really adverse to the idea of that, due to my past history. I might also mention trying to add lamictal, another shot in the dark too, as there aren't enough studies about it for unipolar depression, but the things ou do see are favorable.

Sigh. I just want to be a boy, and do the boy things that I do. More waiting, more patience, and more anticipation and hoping that this run of things isn't another let down. I've been having too many let downs lately, with people going away, or people changing, or myself changing and driving them apart. Lets just have something good for once, okay?