Trying isn't it

when you try, you become something else, trying is being their dream, it is false for yourself and false for them; we never think of it, that love and friendship comes without trying, but only lasting dreams come with only feelings

My wolf

coming to terms with our weaknesses and secrets and admitting that we have them and they are our wolves in sheep's clothing is the only way to truly give yourself to someone, if that person can accept this wolf in sheep's clothing and if you can accept that wolf that other person has

Silly stuff

Drunk dialing.

Drunk blogging.

There's no entry for drunk emailing yet, not so much as I do it while drunk, but far too often while inebriated. There's also me inebriated and chatting with people I shouldn't be.

Scripted drama

Lent Somnolence: our lives are scripted from the days we are born, it's how we choose to act them out that makes us different. whether we are the star of the party, or whether we are the failure in the corner
Lent Somnolence: we're given our script, cut, drawn, and plain. well read and unpracticed, however, and we go through each day either bold in our actions or fumbling in our lines. that's how we live. scripted, bad or good.
***: but i think really, if i would just give a wild percentage, maybe 25% or fewer, definitely fewer are intellectual feelers"
***: that's analyizing it too much allen
Lent Somnolence: no, it's romanticizing it
Lent Somnolence: not analyzing it
***: yes
***: it is
***: you're right
Lent Somnolence: being me isn't analytic, i'm cold and rational and heartless, but i'm romantic in expression, even if it's as cold as dry ice
***: the poets, the lyricists, the playwrights, the screenwriters
***: they are the minority
***: you can relate to them, because you are like them
Lent Somnolence: no. i can relate because i can feel without regret
***: you "hear" them, and have that one sided discussion with them
Lent Somnolence: people regret, even i regret, but regret for me comes later. feeling comes first
***: and feel that source of introspection and rash of feeling because it's already *in* you

[...]

Lent Somnolence: i'm making every statement into a pithy quote. sorry.
***: last night, do you know what i thought
***: i wished that i could live in a song
Lent Somnolence: that i should write love drama's full of suicide?

modern insight

Lent Somnolence: you know this rash of insight i have lately? the source of my introspection and feelings? television drama. the modernization of talking to your best buddy about how you feel.
Lent Somnolence: except now, you just listen, and they talk. and you get to think. not talk about. not discuss. not argue. just face your feelings.