Unexpected words lead to unexpected goodbyes

Sometimes the people you think might not give you a straight answer, do, and it's a bit shocking. It actually hurts less, to be given an answer instead of being left to wonder what exactly did I do, what exactly am I doing wrong, what exactly am I not doing, or... or... any of the things our minds do when they go in circles.

Allen, it's too hurtful to talk to you. No one has said that to me before, and I was really shocked, not like it probably wasn't true, but for the first time someone told me something like that and I was able to respect it and just let it go.

I'm making it easier on everyone else in the world and stopping myself from being a burden, it feels fairly clear to this crazy paranoid mind that some friends need a lot of space and room right now, and I might be complicating things a great deal, or holding onto them far too much for them to handle right now. I hope that they can talk to me when they are doing better, and I wish they would tell me what I could of done or not done to make them better, or if needed flat out tell me I'm driving them crazy right now. But, I know it's hard to tell a friend something like that. Very few people read this, someday they will come around and maybe read this stupid post.

Until someone tells me otherwise I think I'm relegated to that thing called email, that most people don't really communicate with anymore, I'm less of an agitation there and more easily set aside. It's easier on everyone, and no one has to worry if I do not have a presence online.