Why?
So, I posted on someone's livejournal and made a comment. It was a nice comment, but I guess it was a little personal and a little scary. It's deleted now, as if it was never there. That just confuses me. Maybe they don't want anyone to know about this weird person named Allen.
Maybe no one wants to know this weird person named Allen. I feel like disappearing. I feel like sleeping and never waking up. You know I slept until 9PM yesterday, because of how I felt? My head hurt so much and I didn't even want to get out. There was no reason that I could think of.
I'm going to ask them why they deleted my comment, or if it even was on there in the first place. I was out of it last night. So maybe this is all a dream, a bad dream. Those are those worst kind, because with enough time I slowly incorporate them into my own memory and they are real to me and I can't tell if they are a dream are not. Do you know that's a sign of schizoprenia? One of the early signs? It is scary, but I do know at least one other person that does that too and she's not schizoprenic, so I feel slightly assured.
I'm crazy, but not that crazy -- yet.
4 comments:
:)
cheer up!
-Another Longmont Blogger
Hey!
Another blogger in Longmont! That's news. I'll smile a bit right now, because you asked me cheer up.
But, that's the best promise I can make right now.
:)
i can't believe you'd say that maybe no one wants to know you. i'm still all uber happy that i know you. and i adore you.
and you don't know who this is, so i'm going to stalk you, long distance style. although, with the "i adore you" comment, you might be able to figure me out. e-mail me soon babydoll.
You're so silly. You can't stalk me and say e-mail me soon. *hug*
Maybe some people want to know me, but not many have really stayed through the years. I've known you 2? 3? years. It's hard to count other people that I've known for that long or longer. Sure there are a few, but, again, *sigh* I don't know what I really want anyway. Maybe life is like pokeman and I gotta catch you all. But I really suck at getting friends and in the game of pokeman life I'm losing bad.
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