We learn two things from each relationship.

goodbye nicole. goodbye to this life, goodbye to myself, and goodbye
to what we were trying to have. we tried, but trying isn't enough --
we all gain lessons, and that's the lesson you showed me. that life
isn't good and that life isn't what we want to make it, that life is
cruel and bitter, and kindness isn't appreciated in the long run, and
one day, things can change in an instant. it's a cruel lesson, but at
least one i've been taught.

i learned another thing today, that friends are there for you, and talk to you, and listen to you, and comfort you, and care whether or not they told you so. i learned that you can rely on them, that you can lean on them, no matter how long you've been out of their life, or if you are their best friend in the world. a friend is there for you, in a crisis, and they are there for you until that crisis is over, moment by moment, even if they have to hold your hand through it. even if they have to listen to you cry, and listen to you talk of your anguish, daily, monthly, and for who knows how long. friends, really are forever.

for those people that have stood by me, regardless of what you feel about my lifestyle or decisions i make, i love you all, and thank you all, for doing all the hand-holding, and doing all the reassurance, and doing all the things that a human should do.

which is care.