Well, I've talked to Sarah for about 2 hours on the phone last night. I was surprisingly comfortable, but I swalled about 25 pills too, so I don't know how much of it was my medication and how much of it was just me being comfortable. Either way it was an enjoyable time talking to her and she'll become a good friend, yet, unfortunately she lives all the way in Iowa. Both of us want to visit, but we have to sneak around her b/f back which makes me uncomfortable, as physical things will probably happen when we stay together even though we are both shy and quiet people, we've expressed a desire that we like each other.

I love Erin at the same time, and my feelings towards Sarah are confusing to say the least. Right now, I guess I'm treating Sarah as a close friend that I happen to like, which happens to me all the time, so I'm used to that, but she likes me back, and it usually doesn't work like that.

I'm a very confused person and I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. I've probably hurt Ardere a great deal, I haven't heard from her in a long time. Haven't seen her on MSN and she hasn't responded to my last e-mail which was well over a week ago.

I'm a horrible person it feels like.