Saw the therapist today. She is alright I guess. Wasn't very scary or anything, wasn't really interesting. I'm kind of disappointed that I won't be able to see a psychiatrist for a whole other month. I've been waiting so long to be on medication, and this is really beginning to suck. From the sounds of what my therapist said, my chances of getting prescribed xanax or another benzodiazapine isn't very good, which is making me depressed. I know it's the only thing that makes my condition better, but I'll go along with whatever they want to try and give it a chance, and hopefully they'll put me on a benzo after everything else has failed. I'm really sad about this. I want my life to get in order right now, not in a month, or a few months, or however long they will be experimenting on me with different drugs.
I have to see the therapist every week on Tuesday. I don't really know what she hopes to accomplish. The first visit felt like a waste of time and I certainly didn't get anything out of it. Oh well. I'll give it a chance. It's not like I'm doing anything with my life right now, being confined to my house, and getting out, even if it is to see a therapist is more than I've done in a long time. A few little steps at a time I guess.