First day of the end of my life

Why can't people just lie to me? I'm used to them doing that. It would of at least given me false hope in this situation, allowing me to keep going day by day, even if I knew I was fooling myself and lying to myself.

What do you do with yourself when your life resolved around someone that you cannot be with anymore? Someone that doesn't like you the least bit in that way anymore? I wish they could of lied.

I ran away crying and dosed myself up with an unreasonable amount and am feeling the side effects today. I can barely stay awake and I can't sleep at all. It's what I deserve for boldy asking a question I already knew the answer to.

Everyone fools themselves, but I've ran out of lies to believe in.