Sedate me love and take me away.

when you say my name,
i want to split it from your lips
and hide like whispers in the rain.
when you say (when you say) my name (when you say it)
i want to stop it in your lungs
and collect all of your blood to put in the radio.

is this how it feels
when you dont even fit into your own skin?
and its getting tighter,
every day i'm getting smaller
if i keep holding my breath i'm going to disappear.

I've been listening to a lot of Thursday since I got one of their CDs recently. Really good lyrics, when I listen closely to the soul beyond that voice that can seemily make me cry and scream at the same time. Something that makes me feel. It's nice.

I felt a lot last nice. Had a conversation with somehow and somehow turned it into a big confrontation and accusation on my part (I had my reasons...), into something beatiful and dreamlike. Except now it's morning now and I'm feeling wilted and someone needs to water me with love, not with pills. I had a green apple soda to get the day started and my millions of pills to keep me (in)sane, now lets just hope the rest of this day keeps going alright. I'm feeling the need to be be saved.

these are the words that escape from our lungs,
rupture the wall i've built around my heart
i've been shaking
you can't save me
i'm turning off
we can't find a way
out of this moment
were lost in a dark hallway

I'm thinking and speaking and dreaming the same words that brought me to such a terrible state last night. Except I'm trying hard not to let it happen. I feel the need to be sedated already, so everything feels alright. I don't want to cry today. I don't even want to feel, at least not those bad kinds of feelings. Substitute the good for the bad, or is that the bad for the good? I can never tell with me. But give me those feelings I need and take away the ones I don't want, because I'm scared of myself and I'm scared of how I woke up today and I'm scared of being awake.