End of the line

I did the begging thing, not once, but twice. I didn't get an answer the first time I asked *her, but the second time I asked they wrote back to me. Surprising, I didn't think I'd hear a single word from her ever again. I asked a silly question both times, just wanting to reminisce about things we used to do together and be able to forget together. I guess I wasn't that much of a fun kind of guy, as she doesn't want to do that; I can't say I don't blame her. It's hard to enjoy your own life when someone else is talking about their own life and horrible it is.

I'm sorry everyone thinks I'm looking for sympathy, I'm not. I want empathy, and no one seems to know how to give it to me. I want those words that people say to other people that mean nothing, but I want those words to mean something. I want the words "It'll be okay Allen.", to really mean it when that person says it, because they believe it. Not because they are trying to keep me going another night or day.

I guess today the days of nostalgia ends. It's funny, the day I crossed the line was this month last year, and the day of thinking about it ends this month this year. Strange coincidences and strange attractions. In this case the strange attraction died far too soon before I could mature enough to give back what another human being deserves. After the years have past and I can understand what someone you care about needs and should be given, it's too late to wish upon a star and wish I was that person I am now, those years ago. Nostalgia hurts. So lets stop thinking.

It's the end of the line, I'm just a year late in realizing the truth.