Left the lights on

I blacked out last night. First time in a while that it has happened to me. I didn't take that much stuff, compared to what I used to do on a nightly basis. I have 6 or so unaccounted hours for that are a complete blank. I never did like blacking out, but I always woke up feeling kind of good and kind of dreadful, but chances were I did something amusing and unusual and at some point in the future someone would tell me what crazy things I said or did. I have a feeling I did something crazy. Woke up this morning and, felt like, wow, I lost a few hours of my life! Cool, what better way to spend one of your worst depressive episodes of your life with fuzzy memory and gaping holes in what happened.

On a related note, this is one whole week of being on no Emsam, no antidepressant at all. The lowering of Lamictal didn't seem to effect anything, so I might go lower on it again in a couple months. Two more weeks until I get to start being on an antidepressant and I can hope to feel a little bit better, instead of waking up and wishing I hadn't.