I feel very lonely right now. I wish I really was with someone, no matter how much I try not to think about it or disregard it. Having a friend is very good and comforting, but everytime I think about previous people I was wish I start to feel sad and lonely. I just want to constantly surround myself with people, even when I don't want them around, I want to know that they are there I think. . I think I need companionship no matter how much I try to get away from it. I'm trying not to seek it out and just let it happen, which is a lot better and easier on me, as I don't have to go through meeting a lot of people online which is how I would normally go about it. I just feel so lonely no matter how hard I try not to think about it. I want someone to be around me, no matter if they are a friend or something more.
I miss people. I hate people. Two really contradictory things, huh? I hate all the people that hate me, but I would take them back in an instant even if I knew they would just hate me later for stupid reasons, or no reason at all, if it meant I could just have friends and people around me again.
I'm trying not to fall apart and cry for stupid reasons. It's just hard to stay together sometimes. I mean that in more ways than just the surface.