If there's something to give someone credit for, it's for actually reading your journal when you give them the link. I wish I could say that about Stefany. On reflection, I've noticed how I covered up a lot of flaws I saw in her, just because she could make me feel really great talking to me on the phone, and she did make me feel really great, but I guess a phone personality certainly doesn't make a person - certainly didn't show the true her.
I'm so tired. I think from all the emotions and because I did tramadol last night for the first time in a couple months. :( I wish I was stronger, but I feel like I'm beginning to become a better person, or at least fulfill what potential I have, or at least realize that I have some potential and that I don't have to completely suck for the rest of my life if I don't want to. Thinking that I'm good, is good. I haven't had good thoughts about myself in a long time. Maegan deserves a lot more than what I'm giving her, for all the things she's given me. She's just an unbelievably good friend. It's hard to think there are good people out there like this sometimes, but I'm glad to have met one of these few people.