I can't sleep at all. No matter how much amitryptiline, kava kava, herbal sleep pills, klonopin, and xanax I take I can't fall asleep or even get drowsy. I am full of anxiety and I am worried. Why am I so worried? I shouldn't be this worried. I think I just want a reason to worry because I haven't had a good break down in a while. I need to cry. I need to pull something out from inside me and stomp on it. I need to hurt. I need to see the pain wash down red over my legs and down the drain. I need that crimson flash and acrid smell to make me pull back to reality. I need to hold someone. I need to hug someone. I need someone to hug me. I need to be needed. I need.