I've started just putting quotes from AIM conversations in here, as sometimes they are more telling than anything I can repeat or discuss. Or they say stuff that I wouldn't normally write about, but I feel is important to put down. Talking to people brings out a lot of insightful things that I wouldn't normally feel. Lately I've been talking to Jen almost every night and even though it's very depressing for me as she refuses to be my friend, we still talk a lot about things and that part of it is good. We get good conversation in at least. I still somehow believe that if I'm nice enough for a long enough time (like a year...), she just might treat me as a friend, or if things don't work out with her current bf she'll start to talk to me on on a more personal basis like she did when things were bad and she might of broken up with him. Well I can hope, even if hoping seems hopeless and I sort of believe that to be true. I can't stop talking to her. I tried and I just keep changing from blocking to unblocking her, so I'll feel miserable and somewhat happy at the same time by talking to her.