Am I a whore?
So I was talking to Ashtyn today on Yahoo Messenger (I finally broke down and I have 3 instant messaging programs on my computer now - ugh), and we talked for a 15 or 20 minutes and it was really good conversation, flowed really well and there were no breaks and he seemed to like me a great deal, which was good, as I think he's a very sweet boy. Then we went into a chat with one of his friends that he knows, Katja from Slovenia, and we all start talking, and before I know it they are both trying to cyber with me. Lol. I guess I just went with it and Katja took the lead, which was pretty scary as I had just met her, what 5 minutes ago?, by being dominate and me playing the good subby, and poor Ashtyn wanting to cyber with me too and asking Katja if he could play too, but she said no just watch, so he sat there and invited another of his friends, Joanie, I guess to watch. So Joanie and Ashtyn sat quiet while me and Katja cybered and then we all talked for a while after that. I feel bad for Ashtyn, but I think he doesn't mind watching, but I think his feelings get hurt really easily and I wish Katja had let him particpate too, as I was afterall his friend.
So anyway, I'm a big whore. Not only am I doing stuff with Katja, Ashtyn, and probably Joanie, but I'm also doing stuff with Ardere.

Well that's my dumb life for today. I have to balance all these people. Ardere is really jealous of people and possesive of me and wants me a lot. Katja, Ashtyn, and Joanie are very easygoing and don't mind if I play with any of them or other people. I wish Ardere would like me less, but she's so into me now that I don't think there's any going back, and I know how lonely she feels as I feel that lonely too, I just want her to slow down and take a step back and breath for a second.

Things feel more complicated than they should be, and I feel more guilty than I should. I really shouldn't of screwed around with Katja as I didn't know her. *sigh* And then there's Ardere, who I don't want to hurt. And every person keeps telling me how sweet and nice I am. I wonder how long I can be sweet and nice trying to balance all of this? Joannie thinks I'm sweet. Ardere loves me and thinks I'm sweet. Katja thinks I'm sweet. Ashtyn adores me and thinks I'm sweet. Erin adores me.

Out of all of this, who do I like the most? Erin and Ashtyn and maybe Joanie, as I talked to her for quite a while after everyone left and she's really nice and good to talk to, except she's married and has 5 kids, but she's bored of her life and her sexuality is very much in the question (she seems to like Gay boys a lot and doesn't understand why).

Well that's enough of me writing for today. No more Yahoo or MSN tonight. Just Nicole and Maegan, two people that I don't ever avoid.