I don't think I've felt this lonely and depressed and self-loathing in a long time. I'm seeing someone in...45 minutes. That I've never met before, just told him lets meet and hang out, smoke a bowl and see a movie and then chill at my house if you want. I hope I don't fuck him. I always do that if I am depressed is fuck everyone I can and hate myself even more. It's beginning to feel like that's what I'm doing again. Going to meet another guy soon at the Netherworld hopefully and do some stupid stuff. And then another one. And another. And another.


I hate myself.