Here's a picture of me from this week if anyone cares. Too bad I took down all my GP ads, as I finally have a good picture. I took it for Erin. She calls me her teary-eyed beauty (both literal and symbollic), I think it's one of the kindest things someone has said to me. It's very sweet and makes me blush, but we make each other blush. I want her to get home from her vacation and then I can awkwardly suggest maybe hanging out for a week if she'd like, I know she'd say yes, but I just have to get the courage to. It's strange to miss someone I haven't met, but I miss her dearly, and writing about it just makes me feel it more. It all feels familiar, and I keep thinking about how good Jen was online. I won't let things deteriorate in real life if I meet Erin. I will be a good person, and give the best of me to her.

I'm sitting here smoking a vanilla clove and feeling wistful, wishing I could hold her hand and drink some chai while laying in bed, wanting to be in that idyllic paradise that companionship brings you.