Things are a lot better with Maegan, but to tell the truth nothing was bad in the first place. I just let my imagination run wild like I always do, and assumed the worst. She's the most kind, forgiving and understanding person I know. I don't know many other people that would put up with me and still want to be friends with me.
I wish I could write more, my head hurts too for some reason, so I can't seem to concentrate very well. My neck and top of my back are really tense along with my headache and giving myself a backrub just isn't that great. I stood in the shower for 10 minutes and let the water massage my neck as best it could. I guess one good thing about Jen is that she'd always at least give me a 5 minute backrub if I needed it, even though my muscles were as tense as a rock and you need really strong fingers. She'd usually resort to punching my back, which actually felt good when I was that tense, lol. Oh well.

I feel kind of weirded out last night in that I talked to Nicole a lot, but she asked me a lot of things about sex and I never really talk to her about stuff like that (she's a virgin), but she's umm visiting her bf for 1-2 months and wanted to know about condoms and lubricant and sex. So I helped her out as best I could, just feels kind of weird in retrospect. Actually a lot weird, but I hope I helped. For some reason everyone seemed to ask my advice on what to use and I guess she's carrying on the tradition or something.

I've told her big massive secrets about Jen that no else knew except me, but I wanted to tell her because she's been her friend since forever and she cares about her and I'm not there to help Jen as a friend since she won't let me, so I wanted someone to be able to help Jen and understand her as well as I did. So I told her everything I knew about her pretty much, all the secrets and all my theories and why she is how she is. It felt like a grand expose or something and I felt kind of bad, but I also felt like I was doing it for the best interest of everyone and I know Nicole will use the knowledge well. Sometimes I think I'm way too caring. Why am I going through the trouble (and pain thinking about all these things) just for someone that pretty much hates me and refuses to talk to me unless it's some emergency? I think I care way too much about people and friends, and everyone in general. I wish I could tone my caring down or something at times, but I just can't.

I guess bye for now blog.