I think I have all the friendship I need in Maegan, she is just too great and wonderful and sweet. I want to hug and hug her sometimes because of it. I guess I'm just so lonely and bored all the time and I can't put up well with myself and my head and I want some kind of distraction and that's why I've been wanting so much for people to write to me, but no matter what I write to people or the kind of ad I make, or how many times I revise it thinking it'll make a difference, it just doesn't seem to make any difference. I feel kind of bitter, in knowing I could be a really nice person to anyone if they would write to me, but they won't. Am I just too honest when I write to them and say too much about how I suck? I just want to be upfront and let a person know what kind of person they're getting into, I think it's only fair. I really am kind of bothered that Erin just stopped writing to me after what, 3 letters? I don't think I did anything bad and her last email was long and she seemed interested in me quite a bit. Maybe she's on a vacation or something. I think I'll write to her and just ask if I wasn't the kind of thing she thought I was, but I still wish her the best in her future (and I do mean it). I think I have a hard time letting go of people, even if they didn't really mean much to me.