I have plans to get very messed up tonight. I'm just very depressed about things and I'm feeling very lonely like I always do. I spent some time "stalking" by reading old friends online journals (they are public..) and found out that Jen's new bf is visiting her, which really depressed me. I don't know how I can still feel attached. Yeah I do. I just wish I didn't... cries. I wish I had someone to talk to right now, just to get my mind off things. I don't have anyone to talk to online anymore and I need it, I hate, well dislike all the people I have on AIM, YIM, MSN, as I can't have a very good interesting and heart to heart conversation with them, they are just so shallow. Or maybe I'm the shallow one in thinking that, but I don't feel very close to them and they aren't comforting to talk to.

What's even more depressing is yesterday I figured out how long it would take to visit my friend in Durago, even though I probably never will and it's more than 10 hours! Erin only lives 12 hours away and that's Texas!

I wish I had some friends in real life.

Well here goes nothing, 4 pills of gross tram nothing, crushed into a sticky white powder that seems to coat everything wet in your mouth and throat, but you feel oh so good an hour later. Here's to ignorant bliss and the next day of feeling like shit.