I miss Diana. Holding her head in my hands and playing with her dreads, pressing my face into her hair and smelling the unwashed quality of it, feeling the roughness of texture on my skin, playing with it. Being able to smell the sweat on her body, days unwashed, slightly acrid tang of female sweat, not overpowering. Big ovals of eyes, glinting of emotion whenever she talked. The biggest smile in the world, as real as can be whenever I said "Come, here", and surprised her with a hug. I asked her to never forget me, and she said, "I'll never forget you, baby. Don't worry.". I never was able to see her again after that except on the phone twice. I can't recall the number of messages I had left on her phone, the times I tried to get her to talk to her by asking her roommates.
I don't care about being used, it was good to be used, and I felt alive. Why can't someone just use me, and give me the few things I desire? A bright smile, a hug when needed, and the ability to make them happy. That's all I want and I never ask them for anything more.