I think I'm fairly happy compared to this morning. Don't feel quite as sick, but only because I drugged myself a little to stop the withdrawals. Trying to taper down from the past few days, I guess. Having a hard time just dealing with it, so I took one pill instead of 2-4. Hopefully tomorrow I can deal without needing any, but maybe I'll take 1/2 a pill or a full pill if I need it. I feel like such an addict again talking about going off tram, at least it doesn't feel as bad as the last time I went off it.
Erin wrote to me. yay. She had a busy weekend with her grandmother, and freaking out me wondered how come she couldn't make it down to the internet cafe and write to me. I'm so stupid. She told me not to worry this week as she might not be able to go down to the cafe everyday, I assume because it's her last week there and she has her friends and her grandmother and stuff to be with. But I'll still be a little sad, but I won't be freaking out and worrying at least.
She makes me smile when she says she hopes she can meet me soon, but she's worried that my feelings might change for her in real life, which is how I feel about things. I didn't really hide anything and said I've already looked up where she lives and mentally figured out how to get there already... Sometimes I just crack open my US road map and follow the roads with my eyes and wish I was someplace else.
I wish I was someplace else, the where is obvious, but anywhere else would be better than here it feels like. I hate this state, I really do.